Monday, December 19, 2011

One Last Christmas

This is the last Christmas that we spend as a family. 2012 is fast approaching and I will be filing for divorce before the year is out if it is the last thing that I ever do. I may not want to say that too loudly given recent events. I took my four year (soon to be five) to her first funeral the 16th of this month. I had no choice, she is what held me up and I was so proud of her for behaving herself. 

The presents are few this year but she will at least have a special birthday. I still have to go pick up the stuff for her cupcakes but the baby will not be left out just because she is celebrating two days after Christmas. I am not sure why I but putting off my divorce is causing me frustration. I have a feeling that I have to save the money for it and that is getting increasingly difficult. One more  last year I will file a joint tax return with her father. This is year once again he has back child support to pay. I hate to tell him but I am not foregoing child support and he will have to get a full time job to cover his expenses.

At the moment he thinks he has it good. I will be drawing up a roommate agreement and he will cover his own expenses after the first of the year. I will simply remind him what they are. He is over 40 and he was never taught to pay bills it would seem, his irresponsibility has become more than I can stand any longer.

I am sure that I will spend the rest of my life alone at this point but that's all right too. He is not able to comprehend that we are not together but when the papers are finalized it will hit him soon enough.


  1. Do not resign yourself to never being with anyone who will make you happy. I was a widow (again). Bear was leaving a marriage not dissimilar to yours. We found each other over me calling the police and him responding to the call.

    When you are not looking, someone will appear. In the meantime, mark some time on that infernal schedule of yours to have some hours (as in more than one) for yourself. Put on some earrings and see the world.


  2. Twice widowed? call to the police? I think I missed something. I did find my earrings and put them on though, I even put on what make up I could stand.