Monday, August 15, 2011

Monday, Monday, Monday

I almost missed my alone time this morning. I overslept and when I work up my other half had somehow managed to get to work without waking me up and the little one was still asleep. I managed my coffee and morning cigarette without an interruption. I even managed to listen to some music without being interrupted.

Since he just walked back in the door, I'm guessing this is the last song I get to listen to. Of course he forgot to fill out his applications this morning, so he's going to the library this afternoon to do it. He can use their computers in air conditioning that works better and I don't have to take a break from working for him to do it. Nice of him huh?

I've got a lot of work to do anyway so it's alright with me if he wants to wait. I have blogs to update, articles to write and decisions to make. I'm not sure why but this month hasn't been as productive as I had hoped it would be.

Now I have to get dressed and go get Milk which appears to be an emergency in this house most of the time. A half gallon this time since the gallons are souring faster than half of them can be drunk. The kid seems to have developed an aversion to it.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Frustrated and Distracted

I'm so frustrated and distracted lately that I can't think straight. I'm not focused enough to write much of anything other than blog posts. It's kind of sad since I really need to be working. I'm in my own little world right now. I'm not sure why but everything is leaving me overwhelmed. I can't keep schedules straight. There are therapy appointments and school schedules to keep up with.

I'm so confused that I can't think straight. I don't know what to do because it seems that when I try to schedule appointments I always mess up with the times and dates. I think I confused a therapist the other day attempting to explain the school schedule to her. I don't think she understood me when I told her about the lack of speech next week.

I am so far off schedule that it's not even funny. I hope my frustration and distractions go away soon.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Why Do I Work From Home with a Small Child?

When I first began to work from home it was because I could not take the thought of putting my youngest daughter into daycare the same way that I did with her big sister. If I'd have known then what would happen I'd never have let her out of my sight but it's too late to turn back now. She's healthy but she's no longer in my home, the same thing will not happen with the youngest no matter what I have to do.

The baby has been in school for a year and a half now but I still work from home because of her therapy schedules. I was hoping that she'd go full time this year or I'd simply keep her home and focus on therapy. I no longer desire to work from home but I still have an intense fear of returning to the traditional work force. I don't care to leave my baby in daycare and the fact that it costs a small fortune is only part of the problem. Then there is the fact that I need new clothes.

I made the decision when I found out about my baby to stay home. Well, I made it a few months before she was born. I had lost my job and as my due date got closer I found that I couldn't find one. Now the baby is 4 1/2 years old and a quick glance in my closet will tell anyone that I'd have to buy a new wardrobe just for filling out applications. I am much better off at the moment trying to rebuild my income from home to increase savings so I can buy those things that I need to return to the traditional workforce and turn writing back into my favorite hobby.

In the meantime I work from home because I'm afraid that I don't remember how to work with the public.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Thoughts on Marriage, Kids and Writing for a Living

Marriage is highly over rated. Of course I could be a bit jaded considering this is my third one. I was so into the marriage thing that I got married at 19, 23 and 30. I had two divorces before my 30th birthday, now at never mind how old I am I have two kids and a grown step kid. Now I wonder where the time has gone.

I managed after years of wondering how to earn a living and stay home with my babies to figure that one out. I became an online content writer. Problem solved, sort of. My youngest Autism diagnosis cut down on my availability and the amount of work that I could get done in a single day. I still have no idea how we're going to get by from day to day most of the time but I try not to let it bother me.

My children are my life. I can't imagine not having them but I don't want anymore. The chances of having another child with Autism is small but it's a chance that I can't take. I can't imagine life with Theresa or her diagnosis but I can't even begin to think that I'd be strong enough to go through all that we've gone through since her diagnosis again. The diagnostic process, therapy and applications for assistance to help her function. I can't do it all again.

I'll do anything in this world to help Theresa function but once she's grown, fully functioning on her own I've done my job. I'll have accomplished what I set out to do then it's my turn to live my life one more time before I die.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Theresa's Well Now!

We missed therapy yesterday because Theresa was sick. This morning she's fine and watching cartoons until time to go to therapy. I'm tired but there is still a lot to do. I managed to wash a load of laundry this morning and hang it up in the back. The lawnmower is out of gas and I don't have the money at the moment to buy any more so I need to

Next week's therapy is up in the air, at least the speech portion is because of the medicaid having to be transferred to a new company. The ABA isn't covered anyway and the Occupational therapy is already with the company that it's staying with so those two aren't going to have to be changed at all. Tuesday and Wednesday of next week we're all set, the rest of the week I have no idea.

The following week we have either a call or a visit from the new teacher scheduled for the 22nd or 23rd because that's the day that they do them. The 24th is registration from 8am until noon at the school, if we do the home visit we don't need to go to the registration at least that's what I remember being told. Thursday school starts so I have no idea what we're going to be doing. I'm so confused that it's not even funny. That Friday is the last day for me to earn cash back on gas.

Blog postings are the only thing I feel like writing lately so that's what I'll be doing. Keeping blogs updated could be considered my full time job since I actually have four although I'm not sure why.

Well, the baby feels better and I'm running short on time so I'm gonna be going now.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Closing of the Autism Center

Well, the last week Theresa stayed home because I promised her a vacation before school started. Her oldest sister was supposed to come down as well, but she had things to do before college in the fall. The cost of everything has gone up so much she couldn't make it work out even if she hadn't. Instead of spending time with her sister we made plans for her to start Head Start which she isn't going to be able to do even after all the trouble we went through. One of the requirements is that she be completely potty trained and this week she took a large set back which means I have to call them Monday to tell them she's not going to attend because of it.

The only Autism Center that we had in the area is closing which is bad news for us. The therapist are getting together and opening their own facility so that the kids still get therapy. I have no idea why the center is going to close but it is a rather sad day for us. It was the only one of its kind in the area and it was fairly new. It only opened during January of 2009. I have no idea why it would be closing unless it got too big too fast but they were attempting to meet what is a great need in the area. It seems like just yesterday sometimes that I first went to the original tiny building that would become a lifesaver to me. I remember the week that they closed to move, it just happened to be during Spring Break that year. The new building is barely used, it's less than two years old.

I do wish that things didn't change so fast but maybe this is for the best.