Monday, April 19, 2010

Re-examining Life

I just put my baby girl on the school bus. I noticed that she didn't want to let go of my hand, it gave me a sad sense of happiness. I was happy that she didn't want to leave me and sad because every day is aimed at ensuring that one day she can venture out into the world on her own. With Mother's Day getting closer I'm wishing more than ever that both my kids were home with me where they belong. Some how everything else I want seems to be much less important on these days.

I want a home built, custom designed to suit our needs. The problem is the needs we have today may not be the needs that we have tomorrow. I would be terrified that something will happen to cause the mortgage to go unpaid, then we'd be farther away from where we are now. The roof is leaking, the siding beginning to rot but it's cost free. If we could manage to come up with the money to fix everything that is wrong we could buy a house and have it altered to suit our needs. What is it with the need for extra space? Is the fact I've never truly had privacy a motivator?

I know family is most important to me. I think with a little bit of adjusting we can manage to get everything we need. We might have to do without a few things that we want for some time but I have a feeling that it'll be well worth it in the end. We have to figure out how to save for retirement and have enough for Theresa to be taken care of if for some reason she can't take care of herself.

Right now I'm hoping that we don't get any of those scattered thunderstorms and the 60% chance of rain stays at a zero percent chance.

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